Jesus Cottage

For three days, he had not contacted me. How dare he! I am a little depress now...... I miss him so much. Please do not break up with me......



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Have you guys ever heard of the cold palace of China (when the Emperor of China did not like his wives anymore, he would place them into the cold palace)? It is a direct translation from the Chinese word. It means that when your boss does not like you anymore, he or she ignore you and never entrust any task to you. Yeah! I am really in the cold palace now. Frankly, I feel very depress and left out now. Sob... sob... sob...

What had I done that make her treat me like that? She entrusted the keys of the cabinets that contains the company money. When she came back from her leave the next day, around RM900 had gone. The cabinets were as good as new and were locked after the money was being stolen. Sigh! Surely I am the first suspect in this case.

After that incident, she did not talk to me anymore and avoid me. She even pull down my position in the office. I am no longer her favourite staff. Now, she put her high hope on my other coworkers. I feel uneasy and I feel like want to resign. Lord, what should I do?

Lord, help me! I am innocent.  

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I have know him for about two months. Frankly, I have never heard his voice and he has never heard my voice. We SMS each other. I love that kind of feeling - without hearing each other voice. I afraid the feeling will fade once I have heard his voice.

He is sort of a frank person and I am sort of liking him. However, he is a non Christian. I am a little bit disappointed because my ideal Mr. Right is supposedly a devouted Christian. Is he my Mr. Right? I do not know and I am sure you also do not have any idea. Only God knows. I do not give up on him and hope that he will accept Christ as his personal Saviour.

Friends, please pray for me about this matter. Thank you!

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Yes! After a long period of anticipation, my boss is outstation for one day. All the coworkers celebrate this red letter day after being controlled by my boss for quite some time.

The atmosphere of my office changes immediately from solemn and dull  to relax and joyful. Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Yes! Yes! In the morning, we take our own sweet time to do our work. It is so enjoyable! No rushing! No ditactor! We laugh and joke so freely. Thank you God for giving us a break.

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Right now, I am listening the song sang by Jennifer Holiday, "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going". My heart is still very painful and I am discouraged now...... Sorry friend, the post is not edifying but Jesus Cottage is the only place that I can let go my sadness and frustration. Thank you for continue reading my message.

Justnow, I called up The Rock School. It is a music school. My current vocal tutor is going to be teaching there. Hence, I have to follow her there. OK! So I contacted the music school and asked for price per course. Guess what? I was so shocked after the girl telling me that the fee was RM400 monthly. What? RM400! I really cannot afford. Sob... sob... I really have to say goodbye to my beloved teacher and jazz music.

I felt very depressed now because I have lost my beloved man, beloved jazz and I have just discovered that most of my friends around me have found their true love. Sob... sob... sob...

And I am telling you,  I am not going....... you gonna love me......

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Yeah... I feel like crying now because the man of God that I have admired for eight years is going to get married soon.

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Last night 8:30, I called a cab to Jesselton Point (an open air eating place near the port). There would be a jazz festival from 6:00pm to midnight. I was so excited not until I reached the ticket selling counter. Guess what? The cheaper ticket had been sold out and what they had left were the most expensive one, that was RM100. I was uncertained whether I wanted to buy the ticket or not. But at last, I had made up my and bought the ticket. Holding the ticket in my hand, my heart pumped rapidly, I thought that I could have a good seat in front of the other audiences since my ticket was not cheap. However, when I tried to look for a seat and yet could not find one, I felt very angry and frustrated. All of the sudden, I blamed the management and the service in my heart. Furthermore, there was no partition between RM50 and RM100 seat. The people with the RM50 ticket could just sit in front! Sigh...

What to do? I had to stand from 8:30 till 10:45 and then I had a seat as some audiences had gone home. Anyhow, I did feel satisfy and enjoy the whole session. I mean the performance of the musicians and singers.

Right, I had to go back to the first part of my story. OK! When I reached there, I was still managed to watch Jazzelton Quintet performing. My vocal tutor, Ms June Tan (one of the quintet) was playing and singing on the stage. Her voice was so attractive and I really love her. The last song she performed last night was "Flintstone". The song was cute. Da ba da ba do da......

Later on, the Double Take took charge of the stage. Mia, the singer of the group was so graceful and her voice was so deep. I like all her songs she performed. They were soft and soulful. The guitarist, Roger Wang was also not bad. Their music was just in its purest and most intimate form. After the Double Take, a band called Son2Nos had their Latin style of performance. The band's unique blend combined a group of extremely talented musicians from completely different backgrounds and successfully fusing artistic musical art form spanning from opposite sides of the globe. The whole session of Son2Nos performance was in the party mood. There were young and old audiences dancing freely and boldly.

After the party moment, we then stepped into a more soothing and sentimental moment with Farid Ali. He used His gambus or otherwise known as the oud to play jazz music. I like his best performance was when he singing "Closed To You". His voice was just simple and clean. During his performance, I kept looking at my clock. The schedule stated that Denise Mininfield would be on the stage at 10:45pm. But I had not seen her yet.

At last, around 11:30pm, she and her people came up to the stage and performed. Oh yeah! I have to introduce who she is. Mininfield is an American African singer. Her style of music would be best described as a mixture of jazz. soul, fuMininfield's style of music. Frankly, besides my vocal tutor, I like her the most among the performers. This was the moment I had been waiting for and I had taken down almost all her performance video clips with my digital camera.

I have learned one thing through this jazz festival, that is when we want to sing as good as them, we have to sing freely. Not only that, effort is a must. Lord, thank you for blessing me with a voice and I ask for a better voice and the gift of singing so that I have the chance to sing jazz songs in front of the public as well as singing in the church in future. Equip me and anoint me, Lord. I give You thanks and I give You Praise. In Jesus' name, Amen!

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Arrg! I really do not like short term pen pals! In the past two months, I have pen pals from the States, Great Britains, France, Singapore, West Malaysia and Korea. You know what? Each time after I sending them my pictures, they would not reply my e-mail. Some even shorten their e-mail. Hey! Do I really look so horrible? Honestly, I am currently searching a boy friend high and low franctically. This is because I am not young anymore. All my focus is on the task of hunting Mr. Right.  However, when I introspect myself a few days ago, I realised that I had been focusing wrongly.

I have been deviated from God's love. Frankly, I have not been reading the Bible and doing my devotion for a long time! I need to stand up and refresh myself. I want to go back to my First Love. I want to focus on His word. Hence, last night, I had started reading the Bible. All of the sudden, I could see that I was empowered by His word. No longer will I worry about the matter of searching boy friend as the Bible says in the gospel of Matthew 6:33 "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

Friends, no worry ya?

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Today, I have discovered that my theology assignment will be due on next Monday. My assignment is regarding the inspiration of the Bible. As the matter of fact, I will search for and study the information before I can start to write my assignment. After reading the handout which was distributed by my pastor, I realised that I have been using the word "revelation" wrongly. The following explains the definition of revelation, inspiration and illumination.

The mode or method which God employed in inspiring Scripture must be distinguished from its content and result.

1. Revelation --- the communication of truth which could not be discovered by natural reason. It is God unveiling His person and purpose to man. The Bible is not man's thoughts about God, but primarily God revealing Himself and His purposes to man. In this written revelation of God, God has revealed His nature, character and being. He has revealed the purpose of man's existence and His redemptive plan for mankind.

2. Inspiration --- the process by which the revelation was recorded. While revelation has to do with the impartation of Divine truth, inspiration has to do with the recording ot the truth. Inspiration was the power which enabled the men of God to write the Divine revelation without error or defect.

3. Illumination --- the process of the Holy Spirit enlightening man's understanding to be able to receive God's revelation. It is the work of the Spirit to bring revelation, inspiration and illumination.

In a nutshell, revelation is the reception of truth. Inspiration is the recording of truth. Illuminatiion is the perception of truth, brought about by the influence of the Holy Spirit. Believers today are not to receive revelation or inspiration as the Bible writers, but they are to receive illumination. The believer receives illumination on the revelation given by inspiration.

All the while, I thought that I have the revelation from God. But no, actually, I have the illumination which is the supernatural opening of the understanding to receive that which is revealed in God's Word.

My friends, always bear in mind that "Revelation concerns the discovery of truth. Illumination concerns the understanding of truth. Inspiration concerns the communication of truth".

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